Avijacija i humor

[AeroWomen]

raja , da se malo nasmijemo , ok

airplanes or women

1. Airplanes can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
2. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
3. Airplanes don't get mad if you 'touch and go.'
4. Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.
5. Airplanes operate inverted.
6. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
7. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
8. Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.
9. Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
10. Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown before.
11. Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
12. Airplanes don't complain if you hose them down.
13. Airplanes don't mind if you like to look at other airplanes.
14. Airplanes can get high without throwing up.
15. Airplanes expect to be tied down.
16. Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
17. Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
18. However, when airplanes go quiet, just like a woman, it's a bad thing.

[AeroWomen]

Gay Flight Attendant


I once was on a plane where I was served by an obviously homosexual male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced "The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be great."

I did as he had instructed but the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, our flight attendant came back and said to her: "Ma'am, perhaps you couldn't hear me over the big scary engine, but I asked you to please put up your tray so that the captain can land the plane." She still wouldn't comply.

Now he was getting angry and asked her again to put up the tray. She then calmly turned to him and said: "In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one."

Our flight attendant replied: "Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I'm called a queen and I outrank you, pregnant dog, so put the tray up!"


Pilot One Liners


Q: What is the ideal thingypit crew?
A: A pilot and a dog...the pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.

Q: How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: How do you know if a pilot is at your party?
A: He'll tell you.

Q: How do you know when you are half way through a date with a pilot?
A: Because he says: "Thats enough about flying, let's talk about me"!

Q: What's the purpose of the propeller?
A: To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!

[TNTedo]

hehehehehehe ;D

[AeroWomen]

PA left on and needing hot woman
This classic joke, with variations, can be found in almost every book with airline humor. And it must have happened somewhere, somehow...

During a particularly rough flight, the airliner pilot addresses his passengers: "The turbulence we passed through was rough, but we have passed that now. The rest of the flight is expected to be smooth." The pilot was unaware that his PA switch was stuck on, and leaned over to the co-pilot and said "Boy, was that rough! What I need now is a hot woman and a cold beer."

A flight attendant in the rear of the aircraft heard this, and ran forward to warn the pilot.

As she neared the thingypit, an elderly woman passenger stopped her saying "Don't forget the beer!"

[AeroWomen]

vrijeme je za smijeh

THE EVOLUTION OF A FLIGHT ATTENDANT
IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR ONE MONTH
She blushes at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a captain
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her intelligent
She reads 'What Every Girl Should Know'
She thinks all men are nice
She wears her wings with pride

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR SIX MONTHS
She smiles at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a second officer
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her fairly intelligent
She reads 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'
She thinks some men are nice
She wears her wings happily

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR ONE YEAR
She laughs at dirty jokes
She wants to marry a ramp agent
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her intelligent enough
She reads 'The Art of Love'
She hopes some men are nice
She wears her wings doubtfully

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR THREE YEARS
She tells dirty jokes
She wants to marry a man
She thinks that a flight attendant's work leaves her a little intelligence
She reads 'How to Live Alone and Like It'
She knows all men are not nice
She still wears her wings

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR FIVE YEARS
She invents dirty jokes
She wants to marry
She would rather not have to think
She reads 'To Have and to Hold'
She would rather wear a ring

IF SHE'S BEEN FLYING FOR TEN YEARS
She is the girl in the dirty jokes
She wants to marry, "but after all, is it really necessary?"
She can't think
She reads 'Fact is Better Than Fiction'
She is glad all men are not nice
She wears a mink

[AeroWomen]

slucaj blue ice ,
prosle godine sam radila na projektu oko ovog problema , davno sam citala kako je jedan amerikanac dobilo slucaj jer je vidio avion i informacije na repu , u momentu kad je njego brdo ostao okrnjen nakon pada blue ice , to je ujedni i prvu slucaj gdje je ostecena stranka pobjedila
jedan slucaj uopste nije rijesen , iako je vlasnicima jedno bazen iza kuce upao prilicno velik komad plavog leda , cak sta vise , boja se ne moze skinuti obicnim kemikalijama , i sto je najgore , nije se moglo sazanti koje u to vrijeme nadlijetao taj dio grada

evo jedan tekst koji sam procitala , ocevidno je bilo vise slucaja pada zamrznutog materijala

Do airplanes discharge lavatory waste while flying? Are there rules about altitude and location when they can do this?


I work for the FAA and I can assure you that contrary to public perception airlines do not dump their waste in the air.

Starting in the 1920s, railroad-style toilets simply dumped waste through a hatch in the bottom of the plane. There was a misperception back then that anything dropped from high altitudes would automatically disintegrate before it hit Earth. By the 1930s, the airline industry realized that objects weren't vaporizing in midair. Falling cigars and cigarettes occasionally sparked forest fires when thrown from low-flying planes, and the U.S. Department of Commerce responded by issuing frequent warnings to pilots.

Now a days waste is contained in tanks, then it is emptied when the plane arrives at its destination. On rare occasions a tank leaks and its contents, including a blue disinfectant, fall to earth. Because it's so cold so high up, the chunks are frozen when they land and are referred to as "blue ice." One of the first reported cases occurred on Oct. 10, 1974, when a block of blue ice pierced the roof of Erma Schuon's apartment in Lansing, Mich., missing her by about 6 feet. The latest incident occurred in September 2002, when blue ice crashed through the roof of Susan and Kenneth Selzer's house in North Massapequa, N.Y.

[AeroWomen]

da li ste culi za prodavnicu " Unclaimed luggage " , koja se nalazi u US ;D

ok, to je prodavnica izgubljenih i neprijavljenih stvari putnika sirom svijeta , ako u roku od 190 dana ne prijave izgubljeni prtljag , prtljag se salje u doticnu prodavnicu i stavlja se na rasprodaju sa tiketiranim niskim cjenama
naravno , bilo je slucajeva , da su putnici navracali u prodavnicu po vlastite stvari ;D

u prinipu , ovaj slucaj nije smjesan , ali me je ipak nasmijao priznajem
da li vjerujete da ljudi ne zovnu za izgubljeni prtljag uopce ili airline " nema pojma " u slucaju ako neko od putnika odredejnog leta zeli prijaviti izgubljeni prtaljag